Approval
by PetPetAngel
Summary: She had gone through hell to have a good little girl, but all she got was a clumsy little boy. To say the least, Nell Van Dort was rather scornful. Slight William Van DortNell Van Dort


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Approval

Written by:

PetPetAngel

Pairing: Minor William Van Dort/Nell Van Dort

Inspiration: "Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this. But then again… Mother never approved of anything."

Notes: I would never think I would write a story, one of my LONGER ONESHOTS about two minor characters… FROM WILLIAM'S PERSPECTIVE! O.O

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"I wanted a girl!"

That was all that she would say to him day after day after day, but William Van Dort had no idea how he could help ease the hurt his wife felt over having a son. Even as Victor (as they had decided to call him) was only a few days old, Nell found it extremely hard to celebrate. She had not gotten anything like she had hoped. It had been a hard, long pregnancy and she hadn't gotten anything good out of it (or so she said)!

Her mother too had preferred daughters and William supposed that was where she had gotten the trait from. But as he looked into the baby's large, fearful eyes, he wondered vaguely how his wife could ever have the heart to hate, or even just vaguely dislike, something that seemed so gentle, so caring, and so carefree.

But each day in the morning she would say softly to him, voice filled with regret and even what seemed like a little bit of anger, "I wanted a girl!" And because of the fiery temper she had (that had helped him fall in love with her), he knew it best not to say anything, even though he had plenty to say.

And while Nell wouldn't abandon her motherly duties as a mother (for her instinct did not allow her to do that), after her duties were done she would depart until the next time the young Victor cried. And even though Nell very much wanted a girl, William would often come home and find Victor wrapped in his blanket, his small form cradled in Nell's arms. And though this scene was adorable, William knew that once Nell woke she would not have the peace of mind she had in sleep.

And so he'd take the sleeping baby from his mother's arms and cradle him in his own arms, even though soon after he had done so Victor would open his large eyes to stare up at his father. But unlike with his mother, he would never cry after he woke. That had always worried William – it was almost as if as a child Victor was deathly afraid that he would get punished by his parents. It had been most disconcerting at the time.

But still, Victor was a loving, innocent child. And as William offered his finger to the baby, Victor reached out – at first fearfully – and latched onto the larger digit with his small hands, tugging slightly. And everyday when he came home, William would spend this bonding time with his son, falling more and more in love with him as the days passed.

And even at the times when Victor was a hassle, unlike Nell, William found it extremely hard to ever be angry with the little boy. As he ran around giggling and laughing, William found himself extremely endeared to the young child that had caught his heart so unknowingly, so unwittingly.

And the more he fell in love his son as the months passed, the darker Nell's thoughts became.

-

As the months continued to pass, William noticed that Nell had kept all the weight she had gained during her pregnancy. While she had always been strongly built with a heavier body figure, her frame was more obviously so after the months of her pregnancy. But William was not going to poke a dragon in the eye over such a silly thing as weight, as Nell truly didn't seem to mind the weight she had put on.

But it became harder for her to care for Victor. While William was away at work, Victor learned to walk and soon run at an extremely early age. And because Victor was such a small child (when he was born and until his growing years), it was even harder to care for him. He would dart under the table and hide there or go running hysterically after Scraps who was only a puppy at the time.

Victor was still a scared little boy even as he turned two and then three and William thought often later on in life, it was this fear Victor had that made Nell dislike him so continuously. He was extremely curious, but fearful of discovering new things, thinking that they would somehow hurt him. And while William certainly couldn't blame his son for that (since his mother had told him before her death that he too had been like that), he worried that his son would grow up without knowledge of the real world. And even though he was at the tender age of three, William still worried about these sorts of things.

As Victor turned three, Nell began to spend less and less time with him. At first the change was minimal, barely worth notice; Nell would leave Victor to reach up to the counter on his own, and leave him to get his own food if it was in reach. But as time passed, minimal changes became less and less unnoticeable – Nell would stop going into Victor's room at night to wish him a good night and kiss him on the forehead. She'd also stopped picking him up most of the time and telling him bed time stories.

William had not stopped his wife from making this separation from Victor – had not bothered to tell her of the wall she could've been placing permanently between her and her only son, nor did William tell his wife of how her departure from their daily activities (for he knew they played many games together) had hurt his son's feelings so deeply. William thought, that as a mother, Nell would've noticed the way their son's eyes shined with tears as she walked away.

And as William saw his wife pull away from their son, he felt obligated to spend more time with him. Paternal instincts kicking in (much like Nell's maternal ones), he made sure to kiss his son goodnight and tell him a bed time story if Nell's mood would allow it. He even played blocks and hopscotch with his boy.

-

And by the time Victor turned five, he was still very much the same as when he was three and yet oh so different. He still had that sense of fear towards the discovery of new things, as well as his love to play hopscotch and blocks (which William still did with him). He was growing up to be a smart little boy as well, but it seemed no matter how smart Victor became it would never be enough to make Nell proud of him.

And there was something else about Victor when he was five years old. There was something about his eyes at that age that he hadn't had before. There was some sort of knowledge hidden behind his eyes that only sparked every now and again. William noticed that spark sometimes when Victor watched them eat at the dinner table, and even in more frivolous, trivial times like when he played with Scraps.

That spark that was sometimes in Victor's eyes made William question how much his son was truly aware of. It made William wonder his son's capabilities – how well formed his mental understanding of differing situations was. He had to wonder, because sometimes Victor's expression would sadden at certain times while William and Nell interacted, particularly when they argued and he thought they didn't know he was there.

William hated to fight with Nell in front of his little boy, not wanting his son to have violent tendencies when he grew up. But when the times came that he thought that way, he thought of Victor's innocent, carefree face, filled with love and wonder at the new world around him and all those terrible thoughts were smitten by William's sheer love for his son.

But then there was one day that came that made William question so many different parts of his life… It was a normal day, the weather was beautiful and he and Victor were going inside after a small game of hide and seek, when suddenly Victor turned to him with the most heart wrenching expression that William had ever seen. It was as if his son had turned into the proverbial kicked puppy.

And Victor looked at his father square in the eye and asked him, "Why doesn't mommy love me anymore?"

For a moment, William truly had no answer to that whatsoever. How was he going to explain it? William felt absolutely trapped under his son's gaze, and even though it was not prying in any way, William felt strongly compelled (and obligated) to give his distraught son an answer. But all he did was lean down and wipe a stray lock of hair from Victor's eyes and say, "Your mother _does_ love you Victor. You're her world."

And after this, William finally brought up the courage to talk to his wife about her seeming neglect of their son. "He just wants to be loved," he had started off rather randomly to his wife after Victor had been excused from the table. "He misses you, Nellie. He wants you to be there for him like you used to be, before you decided that he wasn't good enough to be your son or whatever other rubbish you feel at the time."

She had been furious with him for accusing her of not loving their son, but as she seethed to herself her facial expression softened. When she spoke next it was almost as if she were talking to a child, and at the moment she was treating William as that. Slowly, clearly, she said, "If I've told you once I must've told you a million times – I wanted a _girl_! Do you not understand that William? It is not my fault I am detached from my son – I. Don't. Want. A. Son."

William sighed and tried desperately, "But love, he needs you. One parent can't be enough for him to feel loved – just as much as he needs a paternal influence in his life he needs a maternal one! I can't raise this child on my own, and neither could you if you dared to try. Please, Nellie. If you can't love him for him, love him for me. Show him that you still care and that you haven't abandoned him. What you're doing when you neglect his needs is cruel."

Her face was livid with fury, but William made no motion to comfort her. He honestly believed to the very day that this had been one of the arguments that had made their marriage harder to handle – not quite impossible and yet seeming more and more as such as the days went on. It would make sense – Victor was the only thing both he and his wife could argue about so heatedly.

When Nell made no further motion of defending herself or offending him, he sighed softly and left to go into Victor's room. The young boy was curled on his side, petting Scraps and murmuring quietly to him. Sometimes William liked to merely stand there and listen to Victor talking – for if there ever was a quiet child, Victor was that quiet child. Victor had always had a small voice, gentle.

He came in and smiled at the boy, tapping him on his shoulder. Victor jumped a mile high and let out a small yelp of surprise, clutching the place over in heart in alarm. He let out a large sigh as he saw it was his father, and he smiled and said a small 'Hello'. It sounded dreadfully formal, but sometimes Victor was just that way. Formal, and sometimes _too_ formal.

Victor rose from his spot lying in the bed, and just as William was about to tell him to change into his night clothes, he remembered and _noticed_ that he was already in them. I must be getting old or something, he said with a light laugh. He pulled back the covers and patted the pillow, and Victor climbed in quickly and obediently. William leaned back and gave the boy a small kiss on the forehead, then tucking the covers under the boy's chin.

"Are you sure mommy still loves me?"

"Yes Victor, dear. I'm sure."

-

When Victor was seven years old, William truly got angry at him for the first time. Victor had been playing inside the house, running from Scraps as the dog barked playfully. Scraps hot on his trail, Victor had bumped into Nell who had been preparing supper at the time. She let out a terrible scream of surprise and dropped the plate she had been holding.

As it fell to the floor, Victor tried to run away, and Nell hollered, "William get in here and reprimand your son!" William had come flying from outside the door where he had been chatting with an associative rather cheerfully, and he placed a hand over his mouth at the surprised scene before him. Nell was standing, back against the wall in shock and anger, while Victor, all the way across the room stared at his father in blatant horror.

William walked over to Victor in a rather wrathful manner and pointed an accusatory finger at him. Victor whimpered at the unfamiliar gesture, mostly just understanding that he was in deep, deep trouble. "Young man," he addressed his son with a stern tone of voice, "I have told you multiple times not to run around in the house, you hear? Go to your room as I help your mother clean up the mess _you_ made, _now._ You hear, boy?"

Victor fled to his room and hid under the covers, and when William came to check on him and found him in this state, he felt his heart go out to the little boy who seemed far past terrified at the world at the moment. William went over to him and placed a hand on Victor's shoulder, who pulled away from the touch, sniffled and whimpered. William tried a different approach.

"Victor, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to yell."

But Victor only shook his head in denial and fled further towards the opposite side of the bed. William sighed and crawled onto the bed, taking his unwilling son into his arms and rocking them both gently, much like Nell used to do while she sat and read in the old rocking chair that had belonged to her parents. Though at first Victor was tense in his father's embrace, he soon calmed down and turned to burry his face into the coarse fabric of his father's shirt.

William held his boy and rocked him, then finally spoke after a long silence that was only filled by Victor's occasional hiccups or sniffles. "You know Victor, you're going to start growing up and being one heck of a good young man, but to get there, sometimes I have to be stern with you and tell you that you've done something wrong. But it's only because I love and I don't want you to make that mistake again. Do you understand?"

Victor nodded and looked up at his father with shining dark eyes. Despite the tears that still fell from his eyes, he offered his father a small, unsure smile. But as the moments passed, the smile fell off of his face and he asked quietly, "Daddy? Can you promise me something?" And while William felt some part of him wince at that question and the tone in Victor's voice, he nodded. "Will you promise to love me forever?"

William gulped but nodded. "I promise." He was as sincere as can be, but to release some of the tension that was circulating around the room, William said soon after, "Now, it's time for bed, young man." And so William removed himself from his bed, barely catching the disappointed look in Victor's eyes. William knew that his son had not caught the sincerity in his voice, but he made no move to comfort him.

Instead of skipping out on the bed time story as he had been doing for the past week or so, William sat in Victor's desk chair (that he would certainly never use until later in life, most likely) and thought of what old tale he would tell his still semi-upset son. When he could not think of a good tale (with maybe a moral or two thrown in), William decided that for the first time he'd make up his own.

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl. No one knew the name of this little girl, for the little girl never said anything to anyone. Some people said that the little must've been awfully lonely since she never spoke to anyone. But the little girl didn't seem to mind that she didn't have any friends." For a moment, William spent his time staring out of Victor's window to the town square, pondering where he was going to put his little tale.

"This little girl was also very clumsy. She tripped a lot and made some mistakes every now and then, and that was another reason that this little girl didn't have many friends. Many people wouldn't accept this little girl for who she was. But when this clumsy little girl grew up, she wasn't so clumsy. She had grown up and become graceful and all the people who had ever made fun of her were shocked. They stared at the girl's beauty and her gracefulness and apologized for what they had said about her when she was younger.

"And in the end the small town and all the people learned that you can't judge a person just because of what they were because they could just turn out beautiful people." William rose and went over to his son's bed, leaned over his son and kissed him gently on the forehead. Just as he had told Victor that he was his mother's world, now William agreed that Victor was also the light of his own world. This little boy seemed like such a blessing and again William wondered how Nell could ever hate him.

-

When Victor was fourteen years old, William felt that he and his son were starting to grow apart. Victor was starting to become an independent boy, and William was glad to know he'd be taking over the family business after he passed away. William had sometimes worried that the smell of fish would both Victor, but he never spoke about it as being offensive towards his nose.

William had to chuckle at that and in response, Victor looked towards him and offered a small smile. William ruffled his son's hair softly and told him to go out and do as he'd like, for the day was young and beautiful. Victor nodded and ran out of the room, first giving his father a gentle hug around his waist, for he was still having trouble reaching for his neck. William smiled and returned the hug halfheartedly, then shooed his boy away to play.

William had always wondered if he would ever get to see his little boy grin. It seemed like all he could do was offer tiny, warming smiles, and while William _did_ very much love those smiles, he betted that he'd like the grins just as much if not more. But he wasn't going to force Victor to do something he didn't want to do – or at least, that seemed to be the case with his son.

Nell had begun to neglect Victor entirely. The most she seemed willing to do for him was make him supper and maybe a light snack if she was in a good mood.

William had departed from the bed time stories he had once told his son, and had stopped going into his room so constantly. Victor, at first, had thought that 'Dad was turning into Mom' but William quickly assured him that he still loved him as much as ever before. William only had to explain that Victor was growing up and that he didn't need all of those things to make him happy. Victor had nodded, but William wasn't' quite sure he actually agreed.

And as William felt himself pulling away from Victor, he wondered what had caused him to do so. What had changed between them? Well, he thought, Victor has been pulling away from us both… Spending more time by himself or outside, drawing. William had been surprised that his son had had those artistic capabilities (not that he'd seen much of his art) since neither he nor Nell had been artistically inclined. And yet outside (or inside, in his room) he would sit and draw. Sometimes he would spend hours just looking at something, then draw it.

-

When Victor turned nineteen, Nell finally _did_ abandon her motherly duties. All of them. The only thing she'd do for Victor anymore was to make him supper, and the rest was either up to him or his father. But Victor truly didn't seem to mind, because it seemed that – no matter how kind Victor was – he really didn't mind being alone most of the time, unless he thought he was in a dangerous situation.

And again Nell was saying to him, "I wanted a girl!"

And William would look to her and say, "I didn't."

-


End file.
